RIP Grampa

May. 5th, 2013 12:25 am
chaiya: (henna)
[personal profile] chaiya
Of all the journal entries I have been writing in my head recently, this wasn't one.

My Grampa spent this past week in the ICU with a systemic infection and sepsis. He passed away tonight, never having regained consciousness. I got to spend time with him this afternoon, alongside [livejournal.com profile] hakamadare, [livejournal.com profile] eldrad, as well as my Mom, step-grandmother Pat, and aunt Sandy. I didn't get to say good-bye, per se -- I thought I would get to do that after dinner, or perhaps tomorrow night. But I did see him, and his passing is definitely better than his staying would have been.

My favorite photo of Grampa is the one that comes up when he calls my cell -- he's wearing a bright red crab-shaped hat, and is menacing the camera with his fingers outstretched, grinning maniacally.

It was very rare to see him do anything other than smile.

He used to read aloud to me from Peanuts comic strips when I was a kid. He would do the voices. His voice for Lucy was particularly hilarious.

He went from being a staunch Republican (voted for Bushes!) to a staunch Obama supporter.

He was married to my Gram until her death in 1999(ish?), and he remarried in 2002(ish?) to a spitfire woman named Pat.

Grampa believed strongly in family loyalty. He did his utmost to provide for 5 kids, 15 grandkids, and 4 (I think) great-grandkids.

He continually told me, growing up, that he would live to be 100. He actually lived to be 90.5. The last time he went to the gym (3x/week!) was about a week ago.

Grampa was an engineer who tinkered. He loved fixing things. He loved jokes.

And now he's gone.

There are many hardest parts, but one such was convincing Pat to take her meds tonight before sleeping. Oh, my heart.

Date: 2013-05-05 04:33 am (UTC)
sovay: (Rotwang)
From: [personal profile] sovay
His memory for a blessing.

Date: 2013-05-05 05:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] regyt.livejournal.com
I'm so sorry to hear this.

Date: 2013-05-05 05:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bedfull-o-books.livejournal.com
My sympathies.

Thinking of you.

Date: 2013-05-05 05:39 am (UTC)
siderea: (Default)
From: [personal profile] siderea
Oh, no! I am so sorry. My condolences on your loss.

Date: 2013-05-05 05:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lowellboyslash.livejournal.com
Oh, I'm so sorry. I will keep you in my thoughts.

Date: 2013-05-05 06:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gravitrue.livejournal.com
So sorry to hear this. I wish you the best of luck with what comes next.

Date: 2013-05-05 06:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] filkerdave.livejournal.com
Baruch dayan emet.

Date: 2013-05-05 07:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fernling.livejournal.com
He went from being a staunch Republican (voted for Bushes!) to a staunch Obama supporter.


...and then (*sigh*) no longer an Obama supporter. But still, it was wonderful to know that *people can change*, even after a lifetime of one opinion.

Mom called me this afternoon, once she got home from the airport and saw the message light blinking (*ouch*). I've gone through a lot of emotions in the past few hours. I am, at this particular moment, feeling more worried about & sad for my mom than sad about Grampa. Because he gave up any semblance of religion, she's kind of freaking out about his soul. I suppose your mom is doing likewise? Any suggestions regarding how to make my mom feel better about that point?

Date: 2013-05-06 03:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaiya.livejournal.com
My Mom seems to be doing a good job focusing on and drawing comfort from the fact that he wasn't in pain, that we didn't want him to be in pain, and that he really didn't want his life prolonged by machines if the prognosis was distinctly negative (which it became very quickly, apparently). In addition, I'd add that Grampa was *never* going to become religious. It was always going to be a source of sadness, but it wasn't something he was ever going to change.

On the plus side, this means that even as a kid, he told me that he didn't think our generation of the family was going to hell, which wasn't the message I got from my parents. ;)

I'm sorry your mom is freaking out. It's not a thing that can necessarily be logical, but it's also not something he was *ever* going to change. Better to let him go the way he wanted, is what I'm trying to settle on.

Date: 2013-05-05 07:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rednikki.livejournal.com
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for telling us about your grandfather. He sounds like he was a wonderful man.

Date: 2013-05-05 07:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dandelion-diva.livejournal.com
I am so sorry. He sounds wonderful.

Date: 2013-05-05 08:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] australian-joe.livejournal.com
I read all this. He sounds quite the character and was clearly much loved. Thinking of you and your family.

Date: 2013-05-05 11:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arib.livejournal.com
I'm so sorry, Crys. I have some fond memories of your grandfather, he was always really happy when I saw him. Please let me know if there's anythign I can do.

Date: 2013-05-05 12:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lyonesse.livejournal.com
sincere condolences, and may his memory always be a blessing. *hugs*

Sorry, Crystal

Date: 2013-05-05 12:26 pm (UTC)
ext_4541: (Default)
From: [identity profile] happypete.livejournal.com
Condolences from me and [livejournal.com profile] prettypammie on your loss. He sounds like an incredible man.

*hugs*

Date: 2013-05-05 12:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paradoox.livejournal.com
I'm so sorry. He sounds like he was a great guy but he is in a better place now. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the rest of your family.

condolences

Date: 2013-05-05 12:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] roozle.livejournal.com
I'm really sorry to hear the sad news. May time leave you with only the happy memories.

Date: 2013-05-05 01:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladysprite.livejournal.com
*hugs offered* My thoughts are with you and your family....

Date: 2013-05-05 02:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] llennhoff.livejournal.com
May his memory be a blessing for you. My condolences on your los.

Date: 2013-05-05 03:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vibrantabyss.livejournal.com
*leaves a pebble*

Date: 2013-05-05 03:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] merlinsquill.livejournal.com
I'm so sorry. Thinking of you.

Date: 2013-05-05 04:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bruorton.livejournal.com
Oh C., I'm so, so sorry to hear the sad news. Your memories of him are beautiful.

Take care. Our love, thoughts, and prayers will be with you in the days ahead. Feel free to call if you need another person to talk to, about anything at all.

Date: 2013-05-06 12:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kaph.livejournal.com
I second this. Lots of love. xoxoxo

Date: 2013-05-05 04:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lisagw.livejournal.com
My that's are with you and all his loved ones.

Date: 2013-05-05 04:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lisagw.livejournal.com
That's = thoughts

Date: 2013-05-05 05:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bess.livejournal.com
So sorry. Hugs.

Date: 2013-05-06 12:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xiphias.livejournal.com
Baruch dayan emet.

Date: 2013-05-06 01:08 am (UTC)
ceo: (pebble)
From: [personal profile] ceo
I'm terribly sorry.

Date: 2013-05-06 01:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] metahacker.livejournal.com
I'm really sorry to hear that.

Date: 2013-05-06 03:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sichling.livejournal.com
My condolences and many hugs. May you hold tight many bright memories of him.

Date: 2013-05-06 11:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chanaleh.livejournal.com
*hugs* and condolences. :-/

Date: 2013-05-06 04:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vettecat.livejournal.com
Very sorry for your loss.

Date: 2013-05-06 05:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ichur72.livejournal.com
*hugs*
He sounds like a wonderful person who will be missed.

Date: 2013-05-07 06:00 am (UTC)
rosefox: Green books on library shelves. (Default)
From: [personal profile] rosefox
His memory for a blessing. Wishing you and yours all the best.

Date: 2013-05-11 09:09 pm (UTC)

Date: 2013-05-16 06:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angel-heart.livejournal.com
Not on LJ much lately, so just saw this now. Sending love to you and your family. :-(

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